We asked everyone for a limerick, prompted by "A rabbi from Beth Am once said..."

From Abby Harris

We know Rabbi Rembaum once said
“Hilchot Pesach I’ll turn on its head.”
My question for Joel
Since you’re on such a roll,
Why couldn’t you also add bread?

He knows an emeritus coot
Gave kitniyot rules the old boot.
Yet we all must confess
‘though he  loves to express
On THIS Rabbi Kligfeld’s been mute!

Can we not count?  Or is it just me?
Our clergy will number only three?
Blame an accounting-type glitch
But in addition to Mitch,
There’s RAK, Susan, Joel, Rabbi Jack and Harry!

From Gary Bachrach

At Beth Am the rabbi said to come to daven
For me, should not be a problem.
Except leaving the wife while she is a snoozing
Makes me feel that I am a loosing.

The Beth Am rabbi says I am no fool
For spending so much time at shul
Sure I may be a bit biased
Ain't it good to be a bit pious.

From Norm Saiger

At Beth Am a rabbi once said,
On Purim it’s great to be fed!
But it can be rather risky,
If you pass me the whiskey,
I’ll end up cursing Mordechai  instead!

At Beth Am a rabbi once said,
If not for Esther we Jews would be dead!
Ahashverosh held out his scepter
For with to accept her,
And said to Haman, “You’re no Maven, gai in drerd!”

At Beth Am a rabbi once whined,
Why baseball in Torah we can’t find!?
But we do have a slugger,
For Boaz did hug her,
“That’s my babe-Ruth!” he opined.

From Aaron Alexander

A Beth Am Rabbi once said drink 'n' be merry
A congregant said - Hey, ain't that scary?!
He opened a book and took a look
And said, Wow - Raba believes in the tooth fairy!