Shabbat Shalom. Parashat Toldot is a dramatic Torah portion containing many interesting lessons regarding personal behavior, family relationships, and the importance of spiritual values. In the beginning of Parashat Toldot, Isaac begs G-D for a child and G-D decides to give Isaac and Rebekah two children. Before the children are born, G-D tells Rebekah that they are going to have two sons, but the older of the two is going to serve the younger as it says in verse 25:23, A :9 * 3 7 $ " 3 * " 9 & @ . This shows that G-D can set the big picture, and foresee what is going to happen, but G-D does not know how it is going to happen, because we have free will that will determine how it will play out. As G-D foresaw, Rebekah gives birth to two sons. The first born son comes out red and hairy, and is named Esau. The second born son comes out holding on to Esau = s heel and is named Jacob. As Jacob and Esau grow older, they start to become rougher and more competitive. One example of this competitiveness is when Jacob unfairly trades a bowl of soup in exchange for Esau = s birthright. Jacob also manages to steal Esau = s blessing. By the end of the Parasha, Esau is so angry at Jacob that he declares that he is going to kill Jacob for taking his birthright and taking his blessing.
In Parasha Toldot, there are many problems from which we can learn valuable lessons for life. I would like to look at the family dynamics and compare and contrast the two brothers. One of the problems is that this is a family in which the parents play favorites. Isaac favors Esau because he hunts, and Isaac finds that admirable. On the other hand, Rebekah favors Jacob although the Torah does not specifically say why. It could be that Rebekah favored Jacob because he was calm and enjoyed doing things inside of the tent perhaps such as studying as it says in verse 25:27, A :. * - % ! " : * . ; : * ! " 8 3 * & @ . Another problem is that the family takes advantage of one another, as when Jacob tricks Esau into giving him the birthright, and when Rebekah helps Jacob trick his father into giving him Esau = s blessing. This is a problem because a family where people take advantage of one another will not be a happy family and there will most likely be many arguments and no one will trust each other. Who among us would want to live in a household like this one?
Although it is generally viewed that Esau was the wicked one, it can be argued that he was actually quite the opposite. Esau did not disobey his parents, but rather was very obedient. This is evident in the Torah when Isaac asks Esau to get an animal and prepare it for him and Esau obeys as it says in verse 27:3 A $ * 7 * - % $ & 3 & % $ : % ! 7 & @ . Even though Esau was an obedient son, he definitely was not the brightest of the bunch, however. I am referring to the part when Esau sells his birthright to Jacob. Esau apparently did not think he would live very long and did not think that he would need the birthright. So, he sold it for something that would satisfy him for the moment, the bowl of soup. Esau was an impulsive, and not very thoughtful man so he did not think about much other than what was going on at the moment when he spurned the birthright. A ' " * & + - * & . 8 * & ; : * & - ! , ! * & @ . He ate, drank, rose, and went away. These five Hebrew verbs all come one after another in one sentence. This abrupt sentence shows that Esau was impulsive and did not think in-between these moments.
Jacob, on the other hand was not always the good righteous hero that we all want to think of him as. Jacob took advantage of his family on several occasions. The first one was when Jacob tricked his brother into giving him the birthright. Jacob acquired something as important as a birthright that stays with you forever, in exchange for a bowl of soup that would last for a mere matter of minutes. Jacob must have known that he was doing something unfair by taking advantage of his brother= s impulsiveness, but he did it anyway. The second time that he tricked someone in his family was when he tricked his father into giving him Esau = s blessing. Even though his mother Rebekah told him to do this and aided him, it was clearly the wrong thing to do and Jacob should have been able to see that. Just as Jacob tricked his family members, later in the Torah, Jacob= s family tricked him, by pretending Joseph had been killed when in fact they had sold him into slavery. Jacob had also been tricked when he thought that he had married Rachael, but he actually married Leah. I believe this illustrates the concept that what you do comes back to you, as the old saying says, A you reap what you sow@ . Even though Jacob had his faults, he had his good side also, of course, that led him to become one of the greatest leaders of the Jewish people. He was apparently very scholarly and was obviously bright. For example, he was able to manipulate two people: his brother and his father. In addition, he obviously was wise enough to place a great deal of value on non-material things such as a birthright. Scholarship, brains, wisdom B these are attributes we Jews traditionally take great pride in.
Parashat Toldot teaches important lessons about both human and family interactions on one hand, and the importance of valuing non-material matters on the other hand. As I have already pointed out, one of the lessons is that people should not take advantage of one another because it is wrong and if you do, it will come back to haunt you. Even though Jacob doesn’t get punished for tricking his father and taking Esau = s birthright in this parasha, he does in the ones that follow. The parasha also illustrates the problems that arise in a family where the parents play favorites, because it causes problems between the siblings, and I am very thankful that that is not the case in my family. Finally, another lesson taught in this parasha is to value things other than material objects. When Esau trades his birthright, he is foolish because he places more value on the bowl of soup than on his precious birthright. Jacob= s wisdom entitles him to lead the Jewish people rather than his elder brother Esau.
I have thought about several ways that Parashat Toldot relates to my personal life. I have attributes of both brothers. I am the firstborn son like Esau, but more importantly, I do not betray my parents just like Esau didn’t. I am like Jacob because I think about the future rather than just the present and I think things through. And I certainly spend a lot of time studying!
Sometimes we can all be like Jacob and Esau. When you want something really bad that is not yours and you feel entitled to it, you are acting just like Jacob did. But you have to face the facts that even if you feel that something is yours and you feel that you have every right to get it, you can= t always get what you want. It works the other way too. If one of my brothers takes something of mine, for example, I feel as if I have been taken advantage of. But as much as I want to make my brother pay for what he did, I can= t and sometimes I and all of us have to live with it. This type of interaction is just like the one with Jacob and Esau. Even though Jacob believed that the birthright and the blessing were rightfully his, he shouldn’t have taken advantage of Esau and stolen it. And even though Esau felt like he had been taken advantage of, he had no right to say that he was going to kill Jacob. Certainly none of my brothers have the right to kill Jacob, even though they probably want to from time to time. Shabbat Shalom.