One can learn a great deal about how not to parent by reading the stories of the dysfunctional Matriarchal/Patriarchal families that comprise a substantial proportion of the narrative in Genesis. One pattern that generates much pain for the dramatis personae of the first book of Scripture is parental favoritism of certain children over their siblings. This begins with Sarah and her understandable affinity for Isaac; it continues with Rebecca favoring Jacob and Isaac – Esau; and it concludes with Jacob’s preference for Joseph, Benjamin and Judah and his disdain for Reuben, Simeon and Levi, much of which is referred to in this week’s Torah reading. In all instances, the first-born sons do not taste the fruits of primogeniture, a situation that flies in the face of the uncompromisingly clear statement in Deuteronomy 21:15-16, where we learn that if a man should have two wives, one who is loved (ahuvah) and one who is unloved (s’nu’ah), and the first-born son is the child of the unloved wife, he shall, nevertheless, receive the larger portion of his father’s estate. The use of the terms ahavah and s’nu’ah calls to mind Jacob’s feelings for Rachel and Leah, respectively (see Genesis 29:20,30-31).
And so it is that in Parashat Va’y’hi the pattern of giving a preferential blessing to a younger child and not to the first-born carries over to Joseph’s children. Interestingly, Joseph is not the one responsible for this action but rather Jacob, who willfully and unambiguously elevates Ephraim above his older brother, Menashe, when blessing his grandsons after adopting them as his own children (Gen. 48:5). We learn from the Biblical account that Joseph positions his sons in front of his now blind father, with Ephraim opposite Jacob’s left hand and Menashe opposite his right, so that Jacob can place his right hand on Menashe’s head – the use of the right hand being a recognition and affirmation of the first-born’s status. Jacob, however, in spite of his blindness, realizes what Joseph has done, crosses (sikel) his hands so that his right hand rests on Ephraim’s head and, with his hands thus positioned, blesses the two boys. Joseph, seeking to ensure that his eldest has his superior status affirmed by Jacob, attempts to correct his father. Jacob, however, essentially says: "Leave me alone; I know exactly what I am doing (Gen. 48:13-20)." Is Joseph intent upon maintaining the proper hierarchy of status within his own family to prevent the kind of tension, jealousy and enmity from which he suffered because of the favoritism shown to him by his father? What moved Jacob to do what he did?
There is a midrashic tradition that suggests that Jacob, in crossing his hands, mat have been motivated by the Ru’ah Ha’kodesh, the Holy Spirit of prophetic illumination that enabled him to read God’s will. In the beginning of the next chapter, Gen. 49:1, we read that Jacob calls his sons together so that he can inform them what will happen "in the end of days" (b’aharit ha’yamim). His words turn out to be prophecies regarding the fortunes of the tribes that will emerge from his sons after they settle in the land of Canaan, and it is to this future time that the term "in the end of days" refers. A midrash (BT Pesahim 56a) suggests that, in fact, the Holy Spirit abandoned Jacob at that moment, because aharit ha’yamim actually refers to the Messianic Era, and there are no prophecies concerning that "end of days" in Jacob’s messages to his sons. The Torah Temimah, however, offers a corrective to the midrash, noting that the Holy Spirit may not have communicated to Jacob information about the coming of the Messiah, but Jacob’s statements did afford accurate predictions of his family’s future, and, hence, the Holy Spirit must have been operative to a certain degree.
In his Mei Shiloah, the Hassidic Master, Rabbi Mordechai Yosef Lainer, the Ishbitzer Rebbe, builds on the midrashic notion that Jacob was motivated by knowledge of the Divine Will in explaining how Jacob could have vested Ephraim with seniority. A mystic, the Ishbitzer comments that Jacob actually gained this knowledge by virtue of Jacob’s own mystical power. He informs us that Jacob was able to access Binah, the third highest s’firah in the Kabbalistic structure of emanated Divine essences, and it was from Binah that he learned that it was God’s intention that Ephraim supplant his older brother as the senior son. The Ishbitzer is also, undoubtedly, influenced in this thinking by the fact that the Hebrew word for crossing the arms is sikel, which is a homonym of the Hebrew root from which the word sekhel, wisdom or common sense, is derived. As we learn from other midrashim, as well, the use of this word suggests that Jacob’s crossing his arms was a result of the fact that he was operating on the basis of some higher wisdom.
This need to explain Jacob’s actions results from the question: how could Jacob ignore the Deuteronomic law that clearly states that the firstborn’s privilege is not revocable? This is actually a very ancient question. It is reflected in the I Chronicles 5:1-2 explanation that Reuben lost his firstborn status when he inappropriately had sexual relations with Bilhah, Rachel’s concubine and Jacob’s bed mate. The Talmud (Bava Batra 123a) cites the Chronicles passage in its discussion of the matter. The need to justify Jacob’s actions regarding his sons and grandsons also emerges from the fact that in the Torah God tells Abraham and Rebecca that their sons, Isaac and Jacob, respectively, will gain the right of primogeniture, supplanting their older brothers, Ishmael and Esau. According to the Biblical accounts, Jacob is given no such Divine mandate. So, explanations must be sought.
The thinking behind all of this is: People are expected to follow God’s law. Rabbinic tradition teaches that even though Jacob lived before the Sinaitic revelation, he knew Torah because he studied at the yeshivah of Shem and Ever. So, he was obligated to follow the Torah law regarding the firstborn. God is the only being who is above the law. God transcends natural law, and, likewise, God transcends Torah law. If God has a master plan, then principles that define normal human relationships can be abrogated. God, therefore, can allow a younger brother to assume the status of a firstborn. People, however, cannot. So, Jacob’s doing so requires a rationale, and one such rationale is that Jacob was able to read God’s "mind." He had unique prophetic or mystical powers, say the sages. We, however, do not. We are expected to learn the law, to interpret the law and then to follow the law. Fairness, compassion, righteousness and justice should define our family relationships and constitute the foundation of the societies in miniature that operate in our homes.