And you will eat and be sated and bless the Lord your God on the goodly land that God has given you. . . Deuteronomy 8:10
As an adult who learned to decode Hebrew in my early twenties, I remember being a guest at a Shabbat table before I could decipher Hebrew. Enjoying the meal was the easy part, but when the bentschers, (blessing booklets) were distributed to sing Birkat Ha Mazon, (blessings after a meal), I felt trepidation. It seemed so daunting – there was so much Hebrew and I literally prayed that I could simply keep up and turn the pages at the correct time, so I could at least look like I knew what I was doing!
The obligation to say Birkat HaMazon derives from the verse above in this week’s Torah portion. By creating specific language for these blessings, the rabbis ensured that we would know exactly how to fulfill this mitzvah. They knew how easy it would be for us to skimp on this mitzvah. Or at times, we simply may not have the right words to say. Therefore Jewish law requires that specifically-worded blessings be uttered and not simply internalized.
But this mitzvah, like many others in Judaism, is best fulfilled in lashon ha kodesh, the Hebrew language. But for those of us for whom performing this mitzvah in Hebrew is a challenge, how do we take the steps necessary in order to do this mitzvah? How do we overcome the trepidation that we feel? How do we become comfortable enough not only to follow along but to lead it ourselves?
I remember after I finished by basic Hebrew class in 1989, I still needed time and practice to increase my speed in decoding. In the synagogue, when everyone else moved speedily through the Amidah, the quiet standing prayer, I plowed along with decoding one or two lines at my own pace. With time, decoding became more fluid for me, and comprehension of the Hebrew followed in later years. Taking the plunge to learn to de-code Hebrew is the first step to feeling more comfortable with Birkat HaMazon or Hebrew prayer in general.
But there is more to this mitzvah. People like me need mentors. For those people who were raised in a home where bentsching was the norm, there is an opportunity to mentor others. Create space at your table where someone feels comfortable honing their skill with this mitzvah. Invite someone to lead bentsching– even if they are not yet fully fluid with Hebrew. And, when enjoying a meal at the synagogue, be sure you make this mitzvah a part of your meal. Other Jews in the synagogue may not yet be able to do this on their own at home and being a part of a communal bentsching at the synagogue may be an important stepping stone for their learning.
As human beings, we all partake of the ritual of eating. In his book The Rituals of Our Lives, Robert Fulghum wrote, “Nobody lives without rituals. Rituals do not live without somebody.” Just as we all live with the ritual of eating, so too we should be the “somebody” who ensures that the mitzvah of Birkat HaMazon lives on at our tables.